As a child you were often asked what you would like to become in life. The most popular answers are probably a veterinarian, firefighter or anything with dinosaurs. Whether these early goals are actually achieved, is questionable. In most cases, life, parents, friends and acquaintances push you on a different path that you never intended. How should one know at a young age, what you want to do a life long? So you let the others persuade you and “check out their suggestions.” In the blink of an eye, ten years have passed, you have embraced your job and wait from Monday morning to Friday afternoon for the weekend, when you finally can do whatever you like.
Many know this feeling, but accept it. This brings up a few questions, that I have partially addressed in my last post: What do I want from life? Who do I want to be in my life? What do I want to achieve in my life?
With these questions you limit “your own happiness” massively. It is important that no dream is too big – even if you get told all the time. That is the horizon of others. You can/ may/ should/ have to deviate from it. After all, you have your own mind and decide what is possible and feasible for you. Besides, it’s your life. If you want to breed bees… just start… who’s stopping you?
When you meet a friend, the conversation usually revolves around the house, partner, child and job. It is expected for some reason that the “list” of both parties is identical. Apparently, in the brain of the crowd, everyone wants a child, a own house and at least one car. That people exist who do not want children, maybe can not have any, is ignored and people cheerfully question themselves into the deepest privacy of the individual. Whether one moves on thin ice, because the couple may be trying to get pregnant for years – no one notices. “After all, I´m just curious!”, they say. Nevertheless, shutting up is often more appropriate. But instead of sweeping in front of your own door, the mass prefers to clean the neighbors. There is only one answer: It is my door and nobody’s business.
People constantly inquire how far you have worked the list: “Is the house almost build? When will you have offspring? Are you still single? “How you are, if you´re happy … that hardly interests anyone. Although this would be the most decent and appropriate question of all. It is general and yet has borders. After all, it’s my thing, whether I lost my job, have relationship problems, etc. If I want to talk about it, then I’ll start by myself. It’s that easy.
But are people really interested in my well-being? Most of them probably less. They want to be confirmed and hear that you at least believe in similar things as themselves – mostly pure pessimism, shrouded in a thin layer of optimism. The few who show more interest, however, are worth finding. These are the ones who do not hope that you are equally miserable. I’m talking about people who are on the ground and still help out. This is what I call family and friends. The rest is voluntary… but you never know what will develop over the years. That is completely up to the individual alone. Enemies can become friends and vice versa.
So, why do I let people into my life who exploit me, treat me unfair or just get in touch when they’re bored? Is it simply an old habit, because the friendship has existed for a long time, are you afraid of being alone or is it the attraction of the other? Everyone probably has a few such acquaintances. Do I want to give them my precious time? This is up to you.. One thing is certain though: Your life is yours. It’s up to you who you share your time with and whether you like your life or not. The sheet does not stop after the final stroke and if necessary, you start a new one. Also: Getting to know new friends and acquaintances is possible at any age. You just have to trust and address people. Any kind of relationship eventually starts with a hello and a stranger.
In these lines, I would like to convey to you, that you should pay more attention to yourself and less to others. Unfortunately, our society has developed into interdependence that benefits no one. In the end, one hardly helps one when on the ground. The good ones lie down next to you or give a helping hand, while the bad ones use you as a staircase or springboard. If you want to change that, then break out of your sacrificial attitude. Build your personality and pursue your goals – not those of others.
At the close of this article, I would like to briefly drift off to the introduction again. What did you want to become when you were a child? Does this dream still exist? Are there bigger ones by now? What are you doing to make them reality? One thing is for sure: your dreams won´t be served on the silver platter for you. You have to get up and get them. At first a few minutes a day, at some point you talents may be enough to make a living … with work, that is fun. Hardly anyone has that!
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